no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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