There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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