Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
