Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
