You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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