New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
