i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
