yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
