This is not my ceiling
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
