the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
