i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
