Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
