Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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