mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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