the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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