Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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