you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
3 2 1 whiskey
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wear drunk well.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
