Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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