I wish i was in the wii world.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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