pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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