Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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