We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
