I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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