i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
