Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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