I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
try to milk me bitch
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
