I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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