I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
