my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
