she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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