Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize