Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
