Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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