Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Come share oat with me in your robe
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
