alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
