'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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