WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
