She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize