So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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