its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Im part way to drunk.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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