you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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