Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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