i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do herpes really smell.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize