We won't sleep together?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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