and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My feet surprised me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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