$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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