I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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