I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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