what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
