sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize