'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
