That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
