everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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