Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
