6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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