I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
