just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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