The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
