Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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