I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
