I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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