Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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