I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize