You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
