What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
