Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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