I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
