saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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