I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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