im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
