Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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