Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
