Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
