Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
