Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
