There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
